In the UK, the closer you are as pals, the more offensive t…

In the UK, the closer you are as pals, the more offensive the greeting...let me give you a real example (translation in brackets)

@118 : corr what the fuck do you want ya cunt (hello mate been a long time since we spoke)
@61226 : fuck you too ya little mug (i know sorry been busy and stressed)
@118 : upto (what have you been doing/what are you doing currently)
@61226 : fek all (ahhh long story il fill you in when i have the time)
@118 : yeah phaat (yeah i know exaclty what you mean)