How to save Major League Baseball in 1 second with a aimple…

How to save Major League Baseball in 1 second with a aimple rule change:

No relief pitchers— ever;
the starting pitcher is just the pitcher—
the ONLY pitcher.

1. More offense
Bases loaded, no outs in the 5th in a zero zero tie? Fuck you, keep throwing. You got 5 innings left to pitch. If the score is 34-0 by the 8th bc you can’t throw 93 mph steam anymore… GOOD! Fans love runs not pitching duels.

2. Faster games
Warm up, approaches to the mound, catcher conferences— all a ginormous waste of fans time. No reason to have a talk with the pitcher, let him stew in his own Shit pen if he’s having a rough go.

3. Healthier pitchers
MYbe every kid doesn’t rip arm out of socket trying to throw 100mph at age 13 if an arm is only valuable when preserved? When you have to throw 200 times per game, pitchers will factor in endurance and arm health.

4. Forfeits are cool
If a pitcher is unable to finish a game, forfeit. Paid too much for tickets and pitcher is out with arm strain in 2nd inning? Too bad. No fan wants to watch a 27-0 blowout anyway, so save everyone’s time by allowing the pitcher to call a forfeit bc he is t able to go on. Fans will have a ball praising or ridiculing the metal of this pitcher or that. It will…

5. Make pitchers cooler dudes.
Instead of some lanky or fat guy pitching LOOGY and hardly anyone remembers his name— pitchers will be like matadors and boxers— going the distance and king-making championship teams. They’ll be the highest paid members of a team. They land the movie star ass. They’ll be your kids heroes.

6. Eliminate waste
Bullpen? Gone.
Bullpen salaries? Gone.
Less lockers, less people, more seats closer to the field, more salary for the other players; hell, maybe sports people can actually pay for their own stadiums instead of dogging every local taxpayer including those who don’t give a crap about baseball?

7. Comebacks more often
With pitchers having to do all 9 innings and higher scores, we would get a much more exciting game as some pitchers would be known as slow starters and others weak finishers.

8. Records broken everywhere.
Hitters would bat .400 again. Home run records would be toppled without needing PEDs. Pitchers would win 30 games again. Strikeout records broken.

9. No more managers.
Managers only screw up the game anyhow. Nothing worse than a bunch of 20 year olds losing a whole season bc a manager makes a decision based on his job security.

10. Change human psychology— esp. kids
Stop thinking some other guy can bail you out and teach some self reliance.

Can you think of any other benefits?

Make baseball great again, get rid of “relief”.
In fact, make it so no one can leave the game at all. Injured? Either play or your team has one less fielder. Or forfeit.

Let’s make a game worth watching— fire the bullpen.