The Making of a Locking Addict: a short story Alice shows …

The Making of a Locking Addict: a short story

Alice shows Bob hodlocker. Bob is intrigued by the snappy, useful information and cool artwork speeding by on the 'trending' page. He wants to try it out, having dabbled in crypto before. He types "pee pee poo poo", and makes his first post.

Instantly, he sees his post on-chain. He's shocked at the convenience, having been abused for years by BTC and ETH. His brain having been fried by years of TikTok and shitcoinery, he gets bored and decides to move on. That is until...

*DING*

A gentle, inviting notification bell rings. A message reads: "Welcome to Bitcoin. New IP address detected. Click here to generate wallet. You have earnt 5 satoshis and 10 $OJBK".

Now, Bob is paying attention. He whispers to himself, "gib gib". He hunkers down in his chair, and enters the mental state known in medical textbooks as 'degen mode'. He searches for ways to utilize his 5 satoshis and 10 $OJBK to make some money.

He starts by selling his OJBK on the 'trade' page on hodlocker, which links to an on-chain exchange. His sale is instant, increasing his stack 25 sats. He exclaims "Yuge!!". He shares the good news with another post on hodlocker.

Rajesh - a seasoned Bitcoiner and OJBK bag holder noticed Bob's celebratory post. Rajesh wants his own OJBK bag to stay liquid. He decides to boost Bob's post with one Bitcoin, keeping his bags trending.

*DING*

Bob hears the notification bell again. "Airdrop received - 1x $HODL". Bob is astounded! Perhaps Rajesh's lock triggered this? Bob's not sure. He doesn't care. He just knows he has to click more.

He goes to sell his $HODL, but studies the chart and decides it might be worth holding as a bull-flag is forming. He sells some BTC for BSV satoshis instead, and goes on a hunt for opportunity.

Armed with 1,027 satoshis, he goes on a locking spree. He feels a rush as other users follow his lead and lock to the dank new memes he discovers. Notifications are flying. He's locking. He's getting locked. It's real. It's happening.

He takes a deep breath, realizing he's a tastemaker at the dawn of a new economy. He solemnly reflects on the responsibilities this role entails, and continues on his quest to make tokens and spread dank memes.

Bob calls in sick to work the next day. He sits at home in good health, tapping away like a hamster on cocaine water. He calls his boss to quit the next week. When asked why, he simply states "companies are so dead" and hangs up the phone.