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5 Signs You Were Raised By A 'Devouring Mom' Type & It's Affecting You Now
Recognizing the 'devouring' behavior and acknowledging its effects is the first step to navigating healthier relationships.
Jim Brillon is a licensed therapist based out of California, yet he uses the reach of his TikTok following to offer educative posts surrounding mental health and its relational effects.
In a recent video, Brillon broke down one archetype of motherhood called the "devouring mom," which he defined as the “shadow side of the mother archetype.”
What is a devouring mom?
A devouring mom is an analytical term for someone who employs a parenting style that “consumes their children psychologically and emotionally, instilling guilt in them for leaving or for becoming an autonomous, independent human.”
There are endless permutations of parenting styles that moms can choose from in order to raise their children. On one end of the spectrum are silky moms, who rely on whatever product or technique that lets their lives run smoothly. Crunchy moms land on the opposite side of that spectrum, as they tend to have a singular focus on attachment parenting.
Of course, there are moms who land in the middle of any given style, for whom flexibility is key.
A devouring mom type is similar in some ways to an eggshell mom, whose unstable moods have her kids walking on eggshells, tailoring their behavior to her needs.
Children of both eggshell moms and devouring moms learn that their moms' emotional landscapes take precedence over their own needs. Yet there are ways to heal from having a devouring mom, starting with recognizing the archetypal pattern.
Here are 5 signs you were raised by a ‘devouring mom’ type — and it’s affecting you now.
1. You're dependent on your mom because she infantilized you while growing up.
The core of the devouring mother type is rooted in a deep fear of being alone. That might manifest as a parent who maintains any developmentally appropriate move towards autonomy is a …