How the heck do I mine a mainnet vanity wallet?

Look into vanitygen

That site is pretty nice https://vanitygen.net/
Can they only be paid for in BTC? Nice little business that, I'd be a customer 🤝 data:image/jpeg;base64,/9j/4QEZRXhpZgAATU0AKgAAAAgABQEAAAMAAAABBDgAAAEBAAMAAAABB1sAAAExAAIAAAAmAAAASodpAAQAAAABAAAAcAESAAQAAAABAAAAAAAAAABBbmRyb2lkIFVQMUEuMjMxMDA1LjAwNy5BMzQ2QlhYVTRCV0syAAAEkAMAAgAAABQAAACmkpEAAgAAAAQzMDQAkBEAAgAAAAcAAAC6kggABAAAAAEAAAAAAAAAADIwMjQ6MDE6MTcgMjA6NTk6MDAAKzAxOjAwAAADAQAAAwAAAAEEOAAAATEAAgAAACYAAADrAQEAAwAAAAEHWwAAAAAAAEFuZHJvaWQgVVAxQS4yMzEwMDUuMDA3LkEzNDZCWFhVNEJXSzIA/+AAEEpGSUYAAQEAAAEAAQAA/+IB2ElDQ19QUk9GSUxFAAEBAAAByAAAAAAEMAAAbW50clJHQiBYWVogB+AAAQABAAAAAAAAYWNzcAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEAAPbWAAEAAAAA0y0AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJZGVzYwAAAPAAAAAkclhZWgAAARQAAAAUZ1hZWgAAASgAAAAUYlhZWgAAATwAAAAUd3RwdAAAAVAAAAAUclRSQwAAAWQAAAAoZ1RSQwAAAWQAAAAoYlRSQwAAAWQAAAAoY3BydAAAAYwAAAA8bWx1YwAAAAAAAAABAAAADGVuVVMAAAAIAAAAHABzAFIARwBCWFlaIAAAAAAAAG+iAAA49QAAA5BYWVogAAAAAAAAYpkAALeFAAAY2lhZWiAAAAAAAAAkoAAAD4QAALbPWFlaIAAAAAAAAPbWAAEAAAAA0y1wYXJhAAAAAAAEAAAAAmZmAADypwAADVkAABPQAAAKWwAAAAAAAAAAbWx1YwAAAAAAAAABAAAADGVuVVMAAAAgAAAAHABHAG8AbwBnAGwAZQAgAEkAbgBjAC4AIAAyADAAMQA2/9sAQwABAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEB/9sAQwEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEBAQEB/8AAEQgHWwQ4AwEiAAIRAQMRAf/EAB8AAQABAwUBAQAAAAAAAAAAAAAKCAkLAQMEBQcGAv/EAIwQAAAGAQMABAUIDg8QDAgCGwABAgMEBQYHCBEJEhMhChQxQVEVFiI5YXGBoRcaMjhYkZeYsba4wdHwGBkjJzNSV3J3eLW31dfhNjdCSFVZc3aIlJay09TW2CQlJig0U1Z1gpK08TVHYml0oqjC4ugpQ2eDh5WzOmal0kRFRmSFhsPIVGNok6Snxcf/xAAeAQEAAQUBAQEBAAAAAAAAAAAABQECAwQGBwgJCv/EAGERAAEDAgMEBQcHBwkFBgMDDQEAAgMEEQUhMRJBUWEGE3GB8AciQpGhscEUFSMyNGLRCBZSdLKz4TM1U1RVcnOS8SQ2doK1JTdDY5PCJqLSCRcnREWDw2S0GDhlZnWjpP/aAAwDAQACEQMRAD8Ah4dmf6UviDsz/Sl8Q5XUP0l8f4A7M/SRfBz+Ae7Cmhy+ji3egPu8uzwTbyATyf0z93pO+7z5d3cVxezP9KXxB2Z/pS+Icvs/d+L+UOz934v5RQU0OX0ce70B93l2eCbBUSada/d6R+7v2stO63LPidmf6UviDsz/AEpfEOX2fu/F/K…

https://github.com/samr7/vanitygen

https://bsv.direct/vanityG/