BREAKING Vatican promises to choose next Pope from those …

BREAKING

Vatican promises to choose next Pope from those who attended the drug-fueled gay orgy that took place in the Vatican in 2017, which was accidentally disturbed by the police.

"In these troubling times we need a Pope who has been around, if you know what I mean. He must be fabulously experienced in order to deal with this challenging era in human history. He must be a seasoned builder of bridges, if you catch my drift."