Chapter 1. Page 2 The Costa Coffee Chat We sit down with ou…
Chapter 1. Page 2
The Costa Coffee Chat
We sit down with our latte’s. It’s great to see her. Although I don’t feel any emotion at that moment other than total anxiety, I still remember what it used to be like when we first met & started meeting regularly for catchup’s & coffee. They were good times. Great times in fact compared to the current situation. She stares straight at me, big smile on her face as if she’s excited about something. “So, how’s things?” she asks. I have to somehow formulate a response in a structured way. My head starts banging at the thought of trying to think of something. I’m incapable of coming up with any usual pleasantry & so I just come straight out with it, “I’m not good G, I’m really struggling”. Her face turns more serious. She pauses, tightens her lips & then hits me with it, “I tried to kill myself several years ago.”
I can see in her face she means it. In an alarmed response, without any considerations of social etiquette, I ask, “What?! How?!”.
“I took an overdose of paracetamol in an attempt to end my life”.
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Chapter 1. Page 1: https://paiybit.com/paiybit/69d78505b699e559a656c37e
Chapter 2. Page 2: https://paiybit.com/paiybit/69d7957905e9ffffeb620a0d
Chapter 1. Page 3.
Friends Will Give You Three Chances
For the first time in 2 years, I feel like I’ve actually made a bit of progress, got my foot on the first rung of the ladder out of this deep, deep hole. I’ve no idea how long it’s going to take to get out of it but moving in the right direction, ‘up’, is a start & I’m flat out of all other options, so let’s crack on.
https://paiybit.com/paiybit/69d933626237038018822ee5
Chapter 1. Page 4.
An Epidemic Of Hidden Suicides
Although most people have struggled with mental health, anxiety & depression at some point in their lives I had no idea about the real numbers that have attempted suicide. Once you start digging the figures are through the roof. There appears to be an epidemic of trauma & hidden suicides in society that no one is addressing or maybe hiding. I thought Gemma was a unique case, but finding so many others among my inner circle of friends was truly shocking. I’ve had permission to publish these following two horrendous cases…
https://paiybit.com/paiybit/69dbdcda7199ec03f832a2d1
Chapter 1, Page 5
Discovering the Hippocampus
With the stories of Martin & my sister-in-law firmly etched into my mind I continue with my “research” endlessly watching YouTube videos on mental health. I’m lying on the sofa trying to cope when a research scientist mentions that the hippocampus is the only part of the brain that has been shown to grow in size when used for memory. He also says that the hippocampus, when stimulated, pushes cortisol out of the brain to calm the amygdala. This is the first time I’ve ever heard anyone describing how one part of the brain can affect another. I spring from the sofa like Count Dracula rising out of his coffin & focus on what’s being said, laser focused like a deer caught in the headlights in pure wonder. Could this be what I’ve been searching for?
https://paiybit.com/paiybit/69dff4c07a383d9b435c115f
Chapter 1, Page 6
3-step process to curing anxiety & depression
There is a 3-step process to curing anxiety & depression. Although depression is the result of a disengaged hippocampus that has been damaged by prolonged over exposure to cortisol, so depression will take longer to recover from since the hippocampus actually needs time to recover & repair, but the process is still the same, it will just require being repeated over & over for a longer period of time. First, the meaning of the traumatic thoughts must be dissolved to prevent the generation of more cortisol. Second, the hippocampus must be “shocked” into functioning, similar to kick starting a motorbike or aircraft propeller. Third, gratitude must be practiced regularly to maintain the continued stimulation of the hippocampus. I call this “The Toshi Treatment” for anxiety & depression.
https://paiybit.com/paiybit/69e265ed7d397c242ea698b5
Chapter 1, Page 7
Shocking the hippocampus into functioning
Whilst on the sofa trying to cope with my stonking headache I’m doing all I can to distract myself away from it. The pain is so unbelievably intense & for the first time in my life I can’t rub it, I can’t spray anything on it, I can’t even prod it. I have to try live with it residing in the centre of my head. Every second that passes feels like a minute & every minute feels like an hour. I can’t watch “shit” video’s either, they seem to make it worse. Music doesn’t help. I have to turn it off. I find myself strangely addicted to true live crime. It has to be real, it can’t be any bullshit fictional drama. The more traumatic the story the better I feel. I never used to watch traumatic true-life crime because I found it too traumatising (funnily enough), but now, watching it feels so good! Am I developing some sick satisfaction from other people’s misfortune? What the hell is going on? I keep watching in fascination, absorbing more & more…
https://paiybit.com/paiybit/69e4cf8055726b125ab841da
Chapter 1, Page 8
Practicing Gratitude And Allowing Intuition To Flow
Being able to appreciate what I have each and every moment keeps my hippocampus stimulated and cortisol levels at bay. Now, having a posh coffee is one of life’s little luxuries and greatest pleasures. It’s a moment of “me time” where I get to ask myself: “What am I going to do?” & take full advantage of the caffeine hit in the process. My thirst for knowledge & quest for the secrets of life is insatiable. Things keep happening to me, for example receiving premonitions, visions in my mind of future events.
https://paiybit.com/paiybit/69e9dfd3413d4bf264b71442
Chapter 1, Page 9
Addictions, Syndromes & Disorders
Drug & Alcohol Addiction
Drug & Alcohol Addiction is familiar to many. Alcohol is a suppressant meaning it will supress the generation of cortisol in the brain. The suppression of cortisol will enable the hippocampus to stimulate allowing creativity & initiative to flow & in turn make people feel good, raise their level of confidence & find happiness in life. When the alcohol wears off cortisol will start to seep back into the brain blocking stimulation to the hippocampus & reducing the flow of creativity & initiative making people feel not so good, reduce their level of confidence & eroding happiness in life. The obvious solution is more alcohol, & here we have the alcohol addiction cycle.
https://paiybit.com/paiybit/69ed17b51336d38bfe0e0a97