I went through alot mentally and spiritually had major psyc…
I went through alot mentally and spiritually had major psychosis from thc crazy crazy amount highest amount was given to me. And would come and go from life and catch myself crying or standing without knowing why I was anywhere.
Scary shit. But I've learned to try to forgive myself and grow and just understand the past can be fixed but the future can be changed and just my mind got really dark thinking no one cared of me. I believed everyone here involved with money is selfish and would do evil to get money etc.
My mind went dark too spiritually.
BUT alot of my issues that I never thought would heal or subside managed to go away from hitting rock bottoms im autistic and honestly I feel like nerotypical people dont understand how its like to have autism or understand it fully.
Darkest time of my life
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I can relate to your situation, i only recieved obtained mental peace in late fortys, really really hope you can do it much sooner, get better.
God worked for me and still does. Please be strong, i find the negative feelings come like a wave, start then peak then subside, helps me undersyand whats going on and manage.
Now i have become virtually indestructable but it has turned me into a cold monster.
This topic is very personal to me and deserves a extreamly detailed answer, and have been trying for years to construct a written piece on it.
Havnt yet.
Some things are best addtessed via im sorry am struggling to type, hope my communication has been satisfactory, this is a topic i am extreamly versed in.
And will try to come up with the best clear help i can give.
But unfortunately am at end of tether.
I cope by this stream.
God bless.