Feeling the need to write more on Treechat even if its a fe…

Feeling the need to write more on Treechat even if its a few sentences.
I suppose i am trying to redirecting negative energy from myself and trying to transform it into positive text when deep down , well there is a force thats really strong driving me to be combative, make war, be violent, say dispicable things, cuss people out, deviate from my path,
Somehow im still on my path.
I like to tell myself im not using " social media"
I do believe when we believe such a statement we are basically limiting our unlimited potentiality.
The common mobile phone is now a powerful computer.
No substitute for a powerful desktop or laptop though .
I suppose my deep discomfort and fear of writing public posts is something that drives me, so i write more, i am shattering that fear and attempting to grow as a human , and utilise the limited tools at my disposal to try to do something with this life.
Yeah so i write even more. So as to virtually spit in the face of my own weakness, i want to shatter it , grind it into a fine powder and discard my fear of participating in modern computer systems.
I know i sound cold.
And i absolutely must be. Soon i will be diverting my energy and time into healthier pursuits
than the excessive hours i spend on a phone.
I am choosing to be a cold hearted bastard and comfront my fears head on on a daily basis.
Some of the people im going up against beyond ruthlessly in my home town isnt a a fantasy or delusion , or something to be proud of
Its a tradgedy of the highest order, and unless you have comfronted and gone to war with true scum you simply wont have a clue about what i am talking about , and im talking real evil scum
Whose wet dream is to outnumber me and ill leave it there.
My attitude is to publicly piss in their faces .
And fight them to the death if need be.
I hope it dosent come to that unfortunately the truth isnt pretty. They do not understand what they have created. And i have absolutely no quams saying it in public been waiting for the weak gutted mice for decades and im still here.
Never a dog.