I really dont understand whats going in with my brain. A si…

I really dont understand whats going in with my brain. A simple thing. Like charging my car batterry or simply buying a new one, or going to local mechanic asking for a jumpstart then driving to the battery shop buying a new battery.
I have a battery charger, and simply have to walk 20 paces to garage grab it , grab a few sockets spanners and i been into cars my whole life and done 8 months of a mechanic apprenticeship and dont temember the name of the tool , how can that be, 14 inch or half inch drive wrench with swivel extension, cant remember the sizes of sockets or spanners i need for taking the battery out, cant work out how to use the charger, this is what its come to. I think its the combination of too much drugs over the years not weed , and just being in impossible situations year after year decade after decade, since i was a kid and my development qs a human being stalling at 16. Due to copius amounts of acid. Also caring for mum all these years killed me more times than i can count, i simply should not be alive period . Please dont respond to this text. This is just the tip of the iceberg what i can share. Most of it and the rest i cant share. Treechat is the only help and contact with world i have. Apart from occasional chat with strangers onbthe street, and occasional very occasional visitor or chat with friends and family. Im not complaining and not looking for sympathy , this is just how it is what i can say and i have had more fun and wild times than 99 percent of millionares and need no pitty i have lived a blessed as possible life, and simply want to pass on my knowledge to the young ones in my famuly si they never have ti go through the shit i have been through, ive worked out how to do thins , no book, song , video, body of work whatevever will achieve this i must get to know them spend time with them and talk face to face regularly for many years to pass on my knowledge , i wonder how i am going to do this. And wonder if god will give me enough time to do it.